Hey,

Today I have decided not to go to school because its orange and black day at my school *spirit week* and im not feeling to good..and i dont wanna dress up. Last night I had a terrible night. Im in love with my boyfriend of close to two months, and when we first started dating... I was of some importance, maybe more than I realized. I look at it like, when you are important to someone you can see yourself in their eyes and your worth to them. Well, at first, like I said, I was of some importance. Now, Im feeling not so important. I don't see myself in his eyes. I don't know I just looked and I wasn't there. He says he's busy, but when you love someone don't you want to see them as much as you can? I don't understand fully what's happening. Here lately since this started happening I've been talking to, my ex-boyfriend/long time friend, Derek Bowen. We had a rocky relationship but through everything he's been there for me, and I've been there for him. He's supposed to talk to Tk,my boyfriend, for me. Everytime I ask Tk about the situation, he gives me and short answer,which doesn't even answer the question I asked. So, Derek is going to talk to him about it. Maybe he will open up to him. Maybe it's my fault, I just need too much love, too much attention, but i don't understand how that is too much to ask for. When, I talk to other people about it, they are like "Well just break up with him" Sheesh people, you don't just run from your problems. I see it this way, you run from one problem you bump into more, and then you keep running until there's nowhere else to go, and then what? Stay there and face them. How am I to break up with someone I love, and he says he loves me. Who am I to scale his love for me? Then, if I did break up with him, he could've just been going through a rough and confusing time, and really did love me. Where does that leave both of us? The reall thing to do is pray ask God to help me, but this isn't something you ask God for help about. I would just feel wrong doing it. That's my problem with my boyfriend. Now my friends, do they really love me, and are they really my friends like they say they are? Well, there are a couple I can give credit to, and I trust them. Like my friends Sarah, Chas, Whit, Em, and a couple others. They have always been there for me...except for Sarah, but we just now getting close. I trust her more than I ever have anyone I believe. She just seems so genuine. We have so much fun together. Tonight is the homecoming football game, whidh I have to go to because I am singing for choir *it's for a grade* I didn't go last night 'cause of this whole Tk thing, I was supposed to sing the national anthem for the Junior High. So, well...that's all I have to say for today

                                Megan